Sarcasm Into Print

I am an English major who loves to write and hopes to write and can never think of anything to write.


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November 20

Text Messaging With Stephanie: Are we BFFS or what?

  • Me: So, my phone shows how many calls I've missed from a single person...I've missed 19 of yours.
  • Stephanie: You're a bitch.
  • Me: Who's a good friend? I am!
  • Stephanie: ...sometimes I don't know why I bother with you.
  • Me: Because you LOOOOOOOVE me. Actually, I don't know why, either. I'm not very lovable.
  • Stephanie: It's true.
  • Me: "Yes, you are, Laura." "You're the best, Laura." Yeah, love you too, bitch.
  • Stephanie: I love you more than you love me.
  • Me: You can't possibly know that.
  • Stephanie: But I can.
  • Me: How, pray tell?
  • Stephanie: I'm a genius.
  • Me: Uh-huh. Liars go to hell.